doubting
so i'll just get right to it.
sometimes i doubt God.
not really doubt His power.
rather, i doubt His existance.
i look at the (seeming) chaos in the world, the endless series of meetings and partings; the heartbreaks and desires; pure hatred, and pure love; everythings else that makes up our world and the different cultures within it.
i don't understand how all this can be orchestrated.
it seems so random and unscripted.
i doubt that God is behind it.
then, in the midst of this doubt, i see that it could not possibly be this complicated if He wasn't in it.
rather, not that it couldn't be so complicated, but that it wouldn't fit together the way it does.
the way that a lost (in every sense of the word) friend found her way back into my life through someone i didn't think i'd ever see again.
the way that one group of friends are connected to another group of friends through people i would never imagine.
i suppose it's a bit of a paradox.
i suppose i'm not giving Him enough credit.
i assume that since my finite mind can't even comprehend more than say, twenty relationships at a time, He orchestrates {[i was going to say 6.6 billion, that that number is very inaccurate, since each person can have hundreds of relationships each. i think. i really can't even comprehend it. if person A knows 20 people, and person B knows 20 people, but person A and Person B know each other, then.. um.... *head explodes*]} ... YOU SEE?! i can't even understand the number of relationships between 20 people!
damn. that's one big God.
sometimes i doubt God.
not really doubt His power.
rather, i doubt His existance.
i look at the (seeming) chaos in the world, the endless series of meetings and partings; the heartbreaks and desires; pure hatred, and pure love; everythings else that makes up our world and the different cultures within it.
i don't understand how all this can be orchestrated.
it seems so random and unscripted.
i doubt that God is behind it.
then, in the midst of this doubt, i see that it could not possibly be this complicated if He wasn't in it.
rather, not that it couldn't be so complicated, but that it wouldn't fit together the way it does.
the way that a lost (in every sense of the word) friend found her way back into my life through someone i didn't think i'd ever see again.
the way that one group of friends are connected to another group of friends through people i would never imagine.
i suppose it's a bit of a paradox.
i suppose i'm not giving Him enough credit.
i assume that since my finite mind can't even comprehend more than say, twenty relationships at a time, He orchestrates {[i was going to say 6.6 billion, that that number is very inaccurate, since each person can have hundreds of relationships each. i think. i really can't even comprehend it. if person A knows 20 people, and person B knows 20 people, but person A and Person B know each other, then.. um.... *head explodes*]} ... YOU SEE?! i can't even understand the number of relationships between 20 people!
damn. that's one big God.
